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 工程师员工给我的笑话。 |
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工程师员工给我的笑话。 -- ceo/cfo - (3584 Byte) 2009-12-05 周六, 01:02 (1411 reads) |
乐闻德
[博客]
声望: 院士
性别:  年龄: 50
加入时间: 2009/08/02
文章: 6342
来自: Den Vereinigten Staaten
海归分: 47
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作者：乐闻德 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
请看惨不忍睹的google translate：
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what
you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway.'
理解工程师 - 以一
两个工程的学生走在大学校园的时候
一个说，'你从哪里得到这样一个伟大的自行车？'
第二个工程师回答说，'好吧，我是昨天一起散步，
自扫门前雪，我自己的生意，当一个美丽的女人骑着这种自行车时，
把它扔在地上，脱掉所有的衣服，说：'什么
你想。
第二个工程师频频点头，说：'不错的选择的
衣服可能不会适合你。'
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
理解工程师 - 以两
对于乐观主义者，玻璃是半满。
对于悲观主义者，玻璃是半空。
这位工程师介绍，该玻璃两倍大，它需要。
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!'
The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!'
The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight.'
The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'
理解工程师 - 以三
一位牧师，医生和工程师在等待一上午1
特别慢组选手。
这位工程师的责难，'这些小伙子什么的？我们必须有
15分钟等待！
附和医生，'我不知道，但我从来没有见过如此无能的高尔夫球！
神父说，'来了果岭门将。让我们与他字。
他说，'你好，乔治！出了什么问题与该集团在我们面前？
他们是相当缓慢，不是吗？'
果岭老板回答说：'噢，是的。这是一种盲目的火群
战士。他们失去了他们的视线从火灾拯救我们的会所上
今年，我们总是让他们随时免费玩。
该集团下跌沉默了一会儿。
神父说，'这是非常伤心。我想我会说，一个特殊的祈祷
他们今晚。
医生说，'好主意。我要联系我的眼科医生
同事，看看是否有什么事，他可以为他们做的。
这位工程师说，'为什么他们不能在晚上玩？'
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
理解工程师 - 以四
之间有什么机械工程师和土木工程师的区别？
建设机械工程师土木工程师武器和建设目标。
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
理解工程师 - 以五
用科学学位研究生问，'为什么它的工作原理？'
该工程学位与研究生问，'它是如何工作的？'
同一个会计学位的研究生问：'多少钱？'
与艺术学士问，'你想与薯条吗？'
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
理解工程师 - 以六
正常的人认为，如果没有破烂，不解决它。
工程师们认为，如果不坏，它没有足够的功能还没有。
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.'
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned It to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.'
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'
The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.'
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain."
理解工程师 - 以八
一名工程师正在横过道路有一天，当青蛙叫他出来
并说，'如果你吻我，我会变成一个美丽的公主。
他弯下腰来，挑选了青蛙并在他的口袋里。
青蛙又开口了，说：'如果你吻我，把我回
成美丽的公主，我会留一个星期。与你'
工程师采取了青蛙了袋口，在它笑着
返回到口袋。
青蛙然后喊道：'如果你吻了我，使之成为我回
公主，我会留在你一个星期，做任何你想要的。
同样，工程师采取了青蛙时，微笑着，并把它返回
进入他的口袋里。
最后，青蛙问，'怎么回事？我告诉你我是
美丽的公主，而我将与你停留一个星期，做
任何你想要的。你为什么不吻我？
这位工程师说，'瞧，我是一个工程师。我没有在一段时间内
女朋友，但青蛙说，现在的酷。
“生活不在于如何生存的风暴，
但如何在雨中跳舞。“
作者：乐闻德 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
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 工程师员工给我的笑话。 -- ceo/cfo - (3584 Byte) 2009-12-05 周六, 01:02 (1411 reads) - 从这些笑话来说，人工翻译远远没有过时。 -- 乐闻德 - (5030 Byte) 2009-12-05 周六, 01:46 (370 reads)
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