| 作者 |
 [转帖] "thank god - you want to cancel" ----- New York Times |
 |
天蝎座的
[博客]
[个人文集]
头衔: 海归中将
声望: 博导
加入时间: 1970/01/01
文章: 3185
来自: S.F
海归分: 507616
|
|
|
作者：天蝎座的 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
New York Times Sunday June 18
Pencil It In Under 'Not Happening'
By ALEX WILLIAMS
LAST Monday was a typically overscheduled day for Michael Kubin, a top executive at marketing companies in Los Angeles and Princeton, N.J. He had a breakfast meeting, a lunch meeting and after work a date for drinks and then a dinner, all with clients or business associates. None of those engagements fell through, Mr. Kubin said.
Which was something of a surprise, because in the past three years he has seen a rise in the frequency with which social and professional obligations outside the office are being canceled — or, more politely, "rescheduled."
He rarely feels snubbed when the other party cancels. In fact, he feels something closer to, well, joy. "Very often I experience a feeling of mini-euphoria when I have something canceled," Mr. Kubin said. "It's just a matter of finding the gift of free time. If it comes at the expense of a pleasant lunch with someone, then so be it."
In an overscheduled world, are there any words more lovely than, "Can we reschedule?"
Who among the harried professional class does not breathe a secret sigh of relief when drinks with an old friend, lunch with a potential client or a Saturday dinner party with college classmates falls through? Driven by 12-hour workdays, never-ending networking "opportunities," work that follows us home on the Internet and the Treo, not to mention weekends crammed with kids' play dates and dinner parties, many people are admitting that one of modern life's most underappreciated joys is to be dropped by others, at least occasionally and when done in the right spirit.
The act of canceling a meeting or dinner date can constitute the most precious gift one busy professional can bestow on another. Both parties tacitly acknowledge that the empty calendar is the greatest luxury of all, one that even the rich — especially the rich — can't buy.
"Of course people love it," said Beth Rudin DeWoody, an art collector and busy supporter of the arts in New York. "We're all overwhelmed."
In recent years, she said, invitations to fund-raisers seem to have quadrupled, as new charities pop up and old ones ramp up fund-raising efforts. More invitations mean more hope that something — anything — will be canceled, even commitments with friends who, one would hope, share the same feelings. "There's no guilt involved," Ms. DeWoody said. "So many times we all make commitments, then when the time comes we say, 'Oh, God, I'd really rather stay home and watch TV.' "
The desire for relief is arguably most pronounced among professionals who work in face-time-intensive industries like law, the media, public relations or sales — really any industry where the reigning ethic seems to be network-or-perish, said Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, a psychiatrist in Sudbury, Mass., and the author of "CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap!" (Ballantine, 2006).
"With cellphones and BlackBerries, people are too reachable," Dr. Hallowell said. "We sign up for too much. So when fate intervenes, it's better than found money. It's found time."
Work lunches may be the most vexing engagements. On the one hand, they are usually forgettable and can be canceled easily with a quick e-mail message. On the other hand, most people think they are subtly steering their career onto the soft shoulder of the road when they back out of business lunches.
But when it's the other person doing the canceling ... "I personally love it when people cancel on me," Meredith Kahn Rollins, the executive editor of Lucky magazine, wrote in an e-mail message. "It's like you're suddenly gifted with extra free time. But if they cancel on me more than once, I get really, really paranoid. So that's a downside."
With the tables turned and Ms. Rollins doing the canceling, she figures she gets one free pass; even a second cancellation is permissible. But there is no canceling a third time or a relationship will be over.
When work-related drinks or dinners cannot be broken, something has to give, and that something is usually time with friends. You hope they understand. For the most part, they do.
"You send out a message saying, 'I have to cancel,' and you usually get a reply back that says, 'Thank God,' " said Steve Alexander, 33, an executive with a data analysis company in Washington.
Mr. Alexander said his calendar of work-related social engagements is usually booked through the week by Monday, leading to the inevitable cancellation of social plans with buddies. It has become a weekly ritual. Still, feelings are fragile, even among old friends. "Sometimes we have to put it on the calendar that we will commit not to cancel," Mr. Alexander said. He and his friends go so far as to buy tickets to a movie or concert weeks ahead, as a form of cancellation insurance, "so you make a financial commitment," he said. Otherwise, "chances are it will fall through."
The notion that lives are ruled by the tyranny of the electronic organizer is not necessarily a white-collar illusion, according to Jared Bernstein, a senior economist with the Economic Policy Institute in Washington. Between 1975 and 2004, middle-income married couples with children increased their annual number of hours of work in the paid labor market by 770 hours, almost five more months of full-time work (an increase in part due to more women joining the labor force).
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey, in 2002 more than 10 million Americans with college degrees reported bringing home extra work on nights and weekends, an average of three hours a week.
This busy-ness leads to an ill-fated attempt to juggle it all, which inevitably leads to hard choices. What to cancel?
Ben Boyd, a senior vice president with Edelman public relations in Washington, recently committed accidentally to an oft-delayed drinks date with an old friend and a few other buddies on the night of an important board meeting at work. He had to make a tough call.
"I thought, if I bail on this guy again, he's going to disown me," Mr. Boyd said. "So in the etiquette of canceling, I had to send a groveling e-mail to the board members. I just owned it: 'I've double-booked, but this is a close friend of mine I haven't seen in a year.' "
Good thing he was up front about it. Forty-five minutes later, he and his friends were drinking wine on the deck of his friend's condominium. On a deck a few condos away, out strode one of his fellow board members. The meeting had been cut short.
"Had I not been honest, I would have been totally busted," Mr. Boyd said. "Transparency is key — unless you know you're not going to get caught."
作者：天蝎座的 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
|
|
|
| 返回顶端 |
|
 |
|
-
 [转帖] "thank god - you want to cancel" ----- New York Times -- 天蝎座的 - (7043 Byte) 2006-6-20 周二, 01:44 (1168 reads) - 如果故意错过了约会时间, -- wiser56 - (23 Byte) 2006-6-20 周二, 01:47 (358 reads)
- 如果是明明约会了， -- 卜鹰 - (37 Byte) 2006-6-20 周二, 08:11 (340 reads)
- 哈哈 -- 天蝎座的 - (2 Byte) 2006-6-20 周二, 13:43 (225 reads)
|
|
|
|
您不能在本论坛发表新主题, 不能回复主题, 不能编辑自己的文章, 不能删除自己的文章, 不能发表投票, 您 不可以 发表活动帖子在本论坛, 不能添加附件不能下载文件, |
|
|
